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Comedian, talk show host and ice road trucker. My tweets are real, and they’re spectacular.

39,025 Following   42,494,809 Followers   10,415 Tweets

Joined Twitter 8/14/08

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You’re very welcome. https://t.co/2FxCytTBF2It’s really happening. http://t.co/I3AoMemkxfI challenged @CourteneyCox to a round of Heads Up! that was all about “Friends” trivia. Oh, Monica. http://t.co/vi62SpzO5TI’m gonna start doubling up my birthday wishes. Happy birthday, @Queen_UK & @TonyDanza! If you ask me, you’re both the boss..@BroOrange was on my show with @MattStopera! What an amazing story. I’m on Weibo! EllenShowUSA https://t.co/KUXrV7RL1Y
4/21
2015
Tomorrow night, I’m gonna be live tweeting a new episode of #OneBigHappy! Watch along and tweet with me! 9:30/8:30c on NBCTomorrow night is the finale of #RepeatAfterMe, Season 1. You gonna wanna see what happens. Don’t believe me? https://t.co/py1VqF7oYNI’m on Weibo! It’s the Twitter of China! I promise not to say anything to offend the Chinese government. So does my roommate, Portia.I sent Ari to clean a viewer’s home. First he went to @Target. At least it started well. #LaughDancePartner http://t.co/CTzxTk3NxNThis is how I nap with my cats. I also put a tiny bow on my head. http://t.co/Ewbj78YNXGI’m proud of every person who crosses the finish line today. I’m just as proud of everyone who crosses the starting one. #BostonMarathon
4/20
2015
This Tuesday is the last episode of #RepeatAfterMe with @TayeDiggs, @EllenPompeo and @HarryConnickJR! Watch and tweet with me. It’s a date.
4/19
2015
Happy birthday, @PrincessSGB! I hope you & Rosie have a day filled with pink things- like cotton candy & flamingos & teeny tiny piglets.
4/18
2015
Why didn’t the snowmen come to the party? Because they were a bunch of flakes. #ClassicJokeFridayWhat do you call a song about a burrito? A wrap. #ClassicJokeFridayI’m having lots of fun putting things on my Good Things Tumblr. Goat take a look. http://t.co/gV61JnCtX2 http://t.co/C0W57Nf2bk4 days and counting to the last episode of #RepeatAfterMe. You don’t wanna miss it, or you’ll miss this. https://t.co/caQxopOY0GHappy birthday, @VictoriaBeckham! I’ll see you next week on my show! Bring your kids! And your husband...shirtless.
4/17
2015
Counting down to the final episode of #RepeatAfterMe. You don’t want to miss it. Here’s why. https://t.co/iIiQnMH3kFI wish everyone could have a teacher like Carlie Flanders. Thank you, @Shutterfly for helping me freak her freak! http://t.co/EBYjm3c6DrLIVE on #Periscope: Here's what happens backstage right before my show! https://t.co/kLHsyB8U2wHappy #ThrowbackThursday #TBT http://t.co/JuTIMvcOtB@Meghan_Trainor Come back any time.Look what I saw on my way to work today. Good one, @MLauer. #MattsRevenge http://t.co/8QCUw5wqJMIf you want to see what happens right before my show, you can today. Be ready at 3:15pm PST & make sure you’re following me on #Periscope.
4/16
2015
Happy #YoureWelcomeWednesday http://t.co/oSENn8QiA9Andy did our first-ever Vine commercial for @Tide HE Turbo Clean. He did a Vine job. #LaughDancePartner https://t.co/iYHAwoiP0YIt looks like @Oprah has revised her show “Master Class." I never knew how strong @BarbaraJWalter’s core was. http://t.co/3pcqbm2IsNI love this so much. Extra points for anyone who finds his tickle spots. @MLauer http://t.co/ZjSjXw2mtO.@Lorraine_Bracco's new book's about living life #ToTheFullest. If that doesn't interest u, u should probably read it http://t.co/tFMz6iVcKYHappy birthday, @EmWatson! You’re the perfect person to play a Disney princess. I should know. I’m a Disney fish.
4/15
2015
This looks just like one of my favorite places in Hollywood. #OneBigHappyGood thing he’s already at the hospital. #OneBigHappyThis show is hilarious. There’s no such thing as purple cauliflower. #OneBigHappyHow many people just raised their hands in their living room? @MarioLopezExtra #ShowOfHandsWhoWantsMario #RepeatAfterMeI’m pretty sure @WendiMcLendonCo didn’t tell @MarioLopezExtra to sign the crotch. #RepeatAfterMeThat was one heck of a #RepeatAfterMe. Now scoot over to NBC for a new episode of #OneBigHappy. It’s a double-header!.@JimmieJohnson told us afterwards that he hates carrots. What a good sport. At least he got some good vitamin K. #RepeatAfterMeIf no one is producing “Genius Peanuts” yet, I call dibs. #RepeatAfterMe.@TheLaurenGraham really is a cougar. She can jump like 7 feet in the air & once I saw her chase a rabbit in the snow #RepeatAfterMeIf you're not watching #RepeatAfterMe on ABC, turn it on right now, East Coast. You don't wanna miss what happens after this.I picked a bad night to watch this show while eating a potato. #RepeatAfterMe.@JoshGroban should just sing everything. #RepeatAfterMeHere we go! Who’s ready to #RepeatAfterMe with me? Turn on ABC!“Hey, I have a great idea for the kids’ photo this year.” http://t.co/TEtamjvxq7Tomorrow’s the day for Today! If you’re headed to the @TodayShow, make sure you have one of these signs. http://t.co/rn2OTIwNKrIf you're loving #OneBigHappy, I’ve got great news- it’s back tonight 9:30/8:30c on NBC! Set your alarms, DVRs and tell Siri to remind you.#RepeatAfterMe is live tonight with my friend @TheLaurenGraham, @MarioLopezExtra, @JimmieJohnson, @JoshGroban and it’s gonna be hilarious..@HeadsUp the game show is coming to TV! It all started with an app created by the wonderfully creative @NearlyIdeal http://t.co/QKk5Pmu7YhHappy Dolphin Day, everybody! I appreciate dolphins every day, but today, let’s do it with porpoise.It's time. #EqualPayNow http://t.co/B3HbBxmMqw
Retweeted by Ellen DeGeneresIf u don’t watch #RepeatAfterMe tomorrow, ur gonna miss this. And u don’t wanna miss this OR @wendimclendonco https://t.co/GkMi6yr7O2
Retweeted by Ellen DeGeneres
4/14
2015
LIVE on #Periscope: Jeannie's at the red carpet of the #AvengersPremiere ! https://t.co/ntbifVINiJMatt & Jess inspire the whole city of Pittsburgh & they inspire me. My partner @Houzz & I had a big surprise for them http://t.co/HaSSY8Dc4QIs this cat going up the stairs, or down the stairs? I’m not going to work until I find out. http://t.co/zoEr3YuGhE.@SofiaVergara, @RWitherspoon & I are starring in a new show. I liked it so much, I put it on @Vessel. #3Sofias http://t.co/ItvCNPY0yW
4/13
2015
I'm running for president. Everyday Americans need a champion, and I want to be that champion. –H https://t.co/w8Hoe1pbtC
Retweeted by Ellen DeGeneres
4/12
2015
.@JTimberlake and @JessicaBiel had a baby! Silas Randall Timberlake is here! I also hear he's hosting SNL tonight.
4/11
2015
Who’s ready for the weekend? http://t.co/KLASXX3nFbHow do you keep an idiot in suspense? #ClassicJokeFridayWhat did Delaware? Her New Jersey. #ClassicJokeFridayHappy #NationalSiblingsDay, @VanceDeGeneres. http://t.co/5UYebK8g3EI love Michelle Obama’s speech so much, I put it on my Good Things Tumblr. http://t.co/gV61JnCtX2Sending love to the families that endured the tornadoes. Grateful to the rescue workers aiding in search efforts. Our hearts are with you.
4/10
2015
Apple knows it’s okay to be gay. And yellow, apparently. 👩‍👩‍👧‍👦Happy #ThrowbackThursday! #TBT http://t.co/VCRlbvSAtDThe @So_Delicious hunks spoon-fed my writer, Lauren. This morning, I found a cashew in her hair. #LaughDancePartner http://t.co/xXLExVDZWNA few hours left to sign up for @Vessel & I’ll give you your first year free! Then you can watch fun videos like this http://t.co/B9aTWEGnntBeing this cute is exhausting. http://t.co/TvxQbuGPGBDennis Quaid’s birthday is today! Dennis Quaid gets a birthday tweet. http://t.co/2nXmBRh3XY.@JulieKramer4 is an incredible person. I’m so happy I could do this. Thank you to the @Phillies. You're a class act. http://t.co/07Iia5TPJz
4/9
2015
You know I #FeelRight. You were inkredibal RT @ItsMystikal: At @TheEllenShow getting ready to make y’all #FeelRight http://t.co/8DQLCCaoN2Happy #YoureWelcomeWednesday! http://t.co/lOlpmhymAt.@AmySchumer makes me laugh so hard. http://t.co/Hfxv6L7F5TIf you’re near Montecito, check out Trattoria Mollie! If you aren’t nearby, check out Mollie’s book, Primi Piatti. http://t.co/Yay8xjCR5xYou’re gonna love @Vessel. I’m so sure, I’m buying you your first year. Seriously. http://t.co/XlqK5tIDHp https://t.co/Zb0PRUMXkN
4/8
2015
Win a $500 Container Store gift card in the Ellen Shop today! I’m so excited I can’t contain myself, which is ironic. http://t.co/32vpLzfNQCCheck out my first-ever Periscopologue. And follow me on Periscope! http://t.co/fNimjCUYpsI'm nominated for 3 Webby Awards! I’d like to thank whoever decides these things. I’m assuming Spider-Man. Vote here! http://t.co/PlCdOL0XOY.@BrianGrazer has written a book called #ACuriousMind. If you’re curious about it, you can find out more right here. http://t.co/h5OMAq0xHI
4/7
2015
LIVE on #Periscope: I'm Periscoping live from my show! https://t.co/PFSltzDyCvI can’t believe this is the last time we’ll all be together. http://t.co/uLZo9kVUJ9#TeamVellenRue RT @iamValC: Hanging with @TheEllenShow today! @TheRue #TeamValenRue #WeLoveEllen http://t.co/J9v4sIq3isIf your pet is happy it’s Spring, send me a video! Target could send you a prize. #LaughDancePartner http://t.co/ha0jxPrb5RIf you stand for peace, tell @PeaceFirstOrg your story. You could win $25k. I stand for peace. I hope you do, too. http://t.co/CiqmSno9p5Look what I found stuck behind my freezer - It’s the art for @JasonDerulo’s new album! Hope I’m allowed to post this. http://t.co/lZR78V5SZy
4/6
2015
Happy birthday to my friend, @Pharrell! May your hats keep getting taller and your shorts keep getting shorter. I love ya.Happy Easter from everybunny here at my show. http://t.co/zm2N7tyfTI
4/5
2015
I can’t look right at it, it’s so beautiful. RT @vanderjames: Thanks @TheEllenShow for this astounding minivan art. http://t.co/SjvfKZ0ra4The Diana Basehart Foundation provides medical care for pets in homes that need financial help. Incredible. http://t.co/A2EFyYDGXGHappy birthday, @RobertDowneyJr! What do you give someone with an under-active thyroid, man? Iron, man.
4/4
2015
What’s the Easter Bunny’s favorite restaurant? IHOP #ClassicJokeFridayPassover begins tonight! לעבור את המצות ! I think I just said “pass the matzoh’. If not, I am so sorry.Why was the farmer covered in baby chickens? He was a chick magnet. #ClassicJokeFridayI think Manuela, the "Price is Right" model, would be much better suited to work on my show. http://t.co/ZHoCZxDOdySometimes when I sing “Since U Been Gone” in the bathroom it feels like @Kelly_Clarkson is with me. Sometimes she is http://t.co/MDx7fpKqwZWhy did the watch go on vacation? He needed to unwind. #ClassicJokeFridayHappy #GoodFriday! What better day could there be to check out my Good Things Tumblr page? Have a great good day! http://t.co/uf3iSpXiEg
4/3
2015
My spring line is about to air for the last time on @QVC! Spring to your TV right now! http://t.co/EdmYKI8v9jHappy #ThrowbackThursday #TBT #VanHellen http://t.co/toFYi7nvgM
4/2
2015
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