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Traveler. Author of The Girl in the Road. Playwright at @OLittleGreenPig. Estoy aprendiendo español. Atlantic, VQR, WashPo, Glimmer Train, The Baffler, WIRED.

318 Following   2,922 Followers   34,765 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/7/11

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@twohandmath the hour at which i forget basic algebra = f(x)hour i go to bed = hour i intend to go to bed + 2 f(x) = x + 2 yeah it's just a y-axis displacement sorry i'm not more interesting@SupSexyScience @AbeDavis It's terrific fun, in my experience.@ShvetaThakrar From Synechdoche, New York...."the end is built in to the beginning"... ;)@SupSexyScience @AbeDavis Haha HIIII. Do you tweet much on either?@PatrickInNC @Renner4Real Think I'll pass.
RT this: if Scarlett Johansson wants to go on record about the "slut" comments, I want to interview her. #BlackWidow@ghostwritingcow @KayReindl I may well not. But I'm seeing if I do. :)@ghostwritingcow @KayReindl Workin on it.@J_Crist He doesn't seem too bright.@monicabyrne13 yephas anyone asked scarlett johansson what she thinks of jeremy renner calling her character a slut? (again on conan tonight, btw)@montsamu see now we are using ALL PARTS OF THE CAKE #teamworka terrible waste and yet i cannot have a "middle" or "side" slice they dampen my virilitycake = shark bodyall the whole rest of the cake has to be thrown away no the analogy i'm looking for is shark fin soup yes corner pieces = shark finsi know it's barbarian of me to only want corner pieces that have to come from a whole cake otherwise it's not authentic like fake ivory@The_Adrift the lost 11th commandment i think@ShvetaThakrar http://t.co/2CqKv7mRD6@ShvetaThakrar ysplsfrosting : cake ratio should be about 3 : 1christ i want some cake is there a cake delivery service that specializes in corner piecesok ok i got it out of me i'm good #tweettherapysour stomach, wanna punch things, hate shit@SamSykesSwears @ChuckWendig somebody else just told me about this series, it's in the ether@drmagoo Yessssss.@drmagoo Fantastic. I can't wait to hear what you think.Today's library haul. I'm excited! @monicabyrne13 http://t.co/sqFSPIq076
Retweeted by Monica Byrnehaha that wasba oggod workout i can't even type straight@christopherzf Oh damn! I didn't realize. 😞@trevorcurtis23 Yah, me too. But what can ya do.gluten wants to be freeI'm again reminded of how many editing problems can be solved simply by rearranging the sequence of information@afnewton i probably knew and then forgot. my SW knowledge exists in oases.of course it says something that i didn't till then knew white beauty as standard female beauty but phrasing it as "cult" drives point homeever since @pushinghoops said "white womanhood is a cult" I haven't been able to un-see it everywhere I lookugghhhhh ANY track of last crusade gives me chills all over my body like i am sitting here shivering https://t.co/M8yMw3OBve@mahveshm yes, invented by scientology@mahveshm do you have kale over there?@mahveshm ;Di, rabbit http://t.co/tjMv3vFElKa pile of kale with salt for lunch sounds reasonable to meOMG. "Ask if birth control is right for you." via @amyschumer http://t.co/rBLWlwBmTBoh shit i figured out how to do video snapchats watch out, humanity@baharipilgrim That's actually a terrific idea.The top search term for my blog is currently "the girl in the road spoilers." YOU GUYS, DOOOON'T! Or at least, finish it and THEN look.@scalzi Whew. Nice. Yes, thank you, @MykeCole.Anyone wanna go ahead and propose The Trail from The Girl in the Road? Here's your chance... http://t.co/wtaJAewUmT@josswhedon Twitter is great, isn't it?all right, it's gonna be all john williams all day in THIS house https://t.co/F98DNq0XUa@afnewton sorry for flooding ur mentions@afnewton LAWRENCE KASDAN IS CO-WRITING!?@afnewton Jakku, NOT Tatooine?...fascinating.@afnewton DOSE ALIENS THO
@alexclaman Thanks :) I just need to screw up the courage to get them inked, hahaha...Latest tattoo designs, left wrist Canada goose / right wrist palm tree. Each beautiful, but such different energies. http://t.co/g2WnaKWNql@J_Crist :D@SofiaSamatar here, here's another palate cleanser http://t.co/1XXbHy7HM6@SofiaSamatar i know. i'm sorry.here here here! palate cleanser, courtesy of @dogstartattoo http://t.co/y6JM25J71e@LindaInPhoenix :Di google image searched "worst tattoos," so i deserved this http://t.co/9VHeZsNvZN@SofiaSamatar Wwaaaaooowwwwwwwww.@tomburns YAAAASSSSSSSwhat enrique iglesias album should i start with? (serious question...apparently he's great for spanish learners)institutional white theatre is at maintenance metabolism i.e., in a coma@johnarusso lol, no mystery whatsoever, institutional white theatre is mostly spiritually deadpretty sure white institutional theatre spends 99.9% of its energy preserving itselfBeautiful, beautiful, beautiful Iran. https://t.co/gY0zeDRf7M@scalzi Yeah. I've come close to that.interviewers: ask boring questions and you will get boring answersSmith College votes to accept transgender applicants: http://t.co/i9XSK8znet
Retweeted by Monica ByrneIsraeli police spray skunk chemical on Ethiopian Jews. They've done this to no other group of Jews. http://t.co/HE8JmNQjsT #BlackLivesMatter
Retweeted by Monica Byrne@kmcdouall55 @cocoacinnamon @fullsteam No me gustan cervezas! Pero voy a tomar vino, o una margarita... ;)Té helado de @cocoacinnamon me ayuda con mi estudiar ❤️ https://t.co/n0NDDR5Wihsiempre siento joven@AnnieSprinkle Sex is a creative practice for me, too. ❤️Sex & creativity are one and the same. We had a full fun day of making & receiving #art and were totally spent and ecstatic. It was good! xx
Retweeted by Monica Byrne@alexotica @oldhavanaeats I come here every Sunday for brunch 😊pork drippings are the new lip gloss"Do you ever meet the pigs beforehand? Have conversations?" "I'm having a conversation with him… https://t.co/EKZXbHTmeu@playwrightsteve I'm going to test that, I am.i got twelve hours of sleep last night i can do anything...anything don't mess with me@scalzi http://t.co/Z1EFk0gbpQ@scalzi Because I could. ;)@monicabyrne13 "DON'T MATTER" IS THE SAME AS "DEAD" MONICA WHY DID YOU KILL THE WHITE PEOPLE YOU MURDERER
Retweeted by Monica Byrne@playwrightsteve Exactly.@scalzi Nah, they just don't matter. Which some people equate with "dystopia."@monicabyrne13 WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE WHITE PEOPLE MONICA THEY ALL DIED DIDN'T THEY DYSTOPIA DYSTOPIA DYSTOPIA
Retweeted by Monica ByrneThe Girl in the Road is not post-apocalyptic or dystopian. It just happens to be set in another part of the world with all brown characters.Again, here we go with classification of The Girl in the Road as "post-apocalyptic/dystopian." Why, @jason_m_heller? http://t.co/QWXWmLnzB9
@terrible_editor @teamswangelista ☺️@elancaster ☺️@Nalo_Hopkinson Awwwwww yeah. 😍@teamswangelista 😣😣😣I'm for whatever fighter is not awful to women oh wait@teamswangelista I saw it on your Facebook page. A blessing in disguise, then...let him miss all the sessions he wants.@teamswangelista @trevorcurtis23 uggghhhhhhhh he's anti-RH? Honestly. Fuck em both.@teamswangelista I didn't! Or maybe I did. I just saw your tweet awhile back about absentee politicians and was like, grrr@trevorcurtis23 @teamswangelista hahaha shit
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